I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
They have beer where we have blood.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize