One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He has the fingertips of a God
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