erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I will be naked everywhere
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
