Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
