Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
