I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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