sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
