Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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