She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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