I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
