i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
