Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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