I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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