These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
