Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
