In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
