Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
