North Korea, Best Korea!
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
