"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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