I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
