tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
