I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
try to milk me bitch
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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