Plan B is the new Plan A
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
the raccoons are back...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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