lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
