I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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