i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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