Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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