Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
