The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
