Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
