Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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