We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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