Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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