you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
