just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
