So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
