We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
