Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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