Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
