but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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