I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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