I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
