she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
