can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
