ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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