If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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