he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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