Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize