in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Randomize
