I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
