that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
