My first STD was from a foam party
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
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