So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My dad is sitting where you rode me
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
