when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
