i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize