My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
