Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
