I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
whose ass print is on the piano?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize