This girl is more easily done than said...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
